Expert and author Paul Grant examines the dos and don’ts of negotiation, and explains why understanding different personalities can help you adapt your approach accordingly
Negotiation is more than just strategy and persuasion – it’s fundamentally about people. And people are different. They communicate differently, value different things, and respond to different approaches. To become a truly effective negotiator, you must learn to navigate these personality differences with intention. Tools such as the E-Colours framework and Personal Intervention offer powerful ways to do just that.
Understanding the role of personality in negotiations
At the core of every negotiation are human behaviours and preferences. Some people are driven by results, others by relationships. Some want all the facts before deciding, while others trust their gut. If you approach every negotiation with a one-size-fits-all style, you risk losing connection, trust, and ultimately, the deal.
This is where understanding personality styles becomes a game-changer. The E-Colours framework breaks down personality into four main styles, represented by different colours:
- Red (Doer) – Results-oriented, action-driven, decisive
- Yellow (Socialiser) – Social, enthusiastic, persuasive
- Green (Thinker) – Analytical, detailed, cautious
- Blue (Relator) – Empathetic, thoughtful, supportive
We have all four personality styles within us, just in different percentages. Most people are a combination of two dominant styles that show their natural tendencies – strengths and potential limiters. Recognising your own personality tendencies, as well as those of others, can help you tailor your negotiation approach to be more effective.
How to negotiate with each personality style
Red (Doer – Direct, Results-Focused)
What they value: Efficiency, action, control, outcomes. And how to negotiate:
- Be direct and to the point – avoid small talk
- Focus on results and benefits
- Don’t waste their time with excessive detail
- Be confident and decisive
Be aware, this personality type can appear aggressive or impatient. Stay calm and stand your ground respectfully.
Yellow (Socialiser – Expressive, Optimistic)
What they value: Recognition, relationships, excitement. And how to negotiate:
- Build rapport and connect on a personal level
- Use stories and big-picture thinking
- Keep the tone positive and dynamic
- Be open to brainstorming or creative ideas
Be aware, they may lose focus or avoid conflict. Keep the conversation structured without dampening their enthusiasm.
Green (Thinker – Analytical, Precise)
What they value: Logic, accuracy, data, preparation. And how to negotiate:
- Come prepared with facts and figures
- Give them time to process and evaluate
- Be patient – don’t pressure for quick decisions
- Clearly outline risks and benefits
Be aware, the Green (Thinker) may appear sceptical or overly cautious. Respect their need for certainty.
Blue (Relator – Supportive, Empathetic)
What they value: Harmony, trust, collaboration. And how to negotiate:
- Be warm, respectful, and sincere
- Emphasise win-win solutions
- Avoid high-pressure tactics
- Take time to listen and address concerns
Be aware, the Relator may hesitate to express disagreement. Create a safe space for them to share openly.
What to avoid…
Don’t Assume everyone thinks like you. Avoid projecting your own personality style onto others. And just because you value logic such as a Green (Thinker), doesn’t mean the other person does – they may place more value on relationships Blue (Relator) or Yellow (Socialiser) more.
Don’t react emotionally: some personalities may thrive on confrontation or manipulation, therefore Personal Intervention – the ability to pause and reflect before making an intentional response instead of a natural reaction – helps you avoid being baited. Avoid getting personal or defensive: keep the conversation on the issue, not the person, and use “I” statements rather than accusations e.g., “I feel…” vs. “You always…”.
Don’t overload or under share: Yellows (Socialisers) and Blues (Relators) may shut down with too much data. Greens (Thinkers) and Reds (Doers) may get frustrated by vague or overly emotional appeals.
And finally, don’t ignore red flags – manipulative tendencies, or consistent disrespect should not be tolerated. Set boundaries if necessary and know when to walk away.
The power of Personal Intervention in negotiation
Even with personality knowledge, negotiations can still trigger emotional reactions -frustration, impatience, defensiveness. That’s where Personal Intervention comes in: Personal Intervention allows you to interrupt your automatic tendencies – especially under stress – and choose a more effective response. For example:
- A Red (Doer) negotiator may feel the urge to dominate a slow-moving conversation. A moment of personal intervention can help them pause, allow space, and listen more effectively.
- A Green (Thinker) negotiator might get lost in analysis. With intervention, they can recognise when to let go of perfection and move toward a decision.
- A Blue (Relator) negotiator may shy away from expressing a firm position. Through personal intervention, they can summon the courage to assert their needs.
- A Yellow (Socialiser) negotiator might speak impulsively or gloss over details. By pausing, they can consider whether they’re truly addressing the other party’s priorities.
By using Personal Intervention, you stay aligned with your negotiation goals while adapting your approach to suit the personality on the other side of the table.
Spotting personality styles in real-time
In many negotiations, you won’t have the luxury of knowing the personality tendencies of the person sitting across from you in advance. So how can you quickly assess their style? The answer lies in observing their behaviour, language, and energy – even from the first few minutes of a conversation. Here’s a guide to help you recognise key cues and respond accordingly.
Red (Doer) – What to look for?
- Fast-paced speech and movement
- Strong handshake, firm eye contact
- Often takes control or sets the agenda quickly
- Direct and task-focused language: ‘Let’s get to the point,’ ‘What’s the bottom line?’
They might interrupt, push for a decision, or challenge your ideas early. They’re outcome focused.
How to adapt to a Doer? Be efficient, get to the point, and show confidence.
Yellow (Socialiser) – What to look for?
- High energy, animated expressions
- Talks more than they listen, often tells stories
- Friendly, informal tone with jokes or asides
- Uses words like ‘fun,’ ‘exciting,’ ‘amazing,’ ‘big picture’
They’ll likely open with small talk, jump between ideas, or share personal anecdotes. Adapt by matching their energy, being warm and engaging, and using big-picture ideas before diving into detail.
Green (Thinker) – What to look for?
- Calm, reserved demeanour
- Speaks slowly and deliberately
- Asks detailed, structured questions
- Mentions data, risk, process, or logic
They may sit back, observe first, or ask for supporting information before engaging fully. So, give them space to think, bring data or frameworks, and avoid rushing decisions.
Blue (Relator) – What to look for?
- Warm, gentle tone and manner
- Asks personal or relational questions: ‘How are you finding this process?’
- Uses words like ‘trust,’ ‘support,’ ‘collaborate,’ ‘feel’
- Often defers or yields in group settings
They might try to reduce tension, mediate disagreement, or focus on harmony over hard outcomes. Therefore, build rapport, slow down, be sincere, and show how your proposal benefits everyone, not just them.
Add this to your toolkit
Observing and adapting to personality in real-time is a skill you can develop with practice. Here’s a cheat sheet:
| Style | Look For | Keywords | Your Adaptation |
| Red (Doer) | Assertive, decisive, fast-paced | ‘Bottom line,’ ‘Now,’ ‘Decision’ | Be direct, show confidence |
| Yellow (Socialiser) | Energetic, expressive, informal | ‘Exciting,’ ‘Vision,’ ‘Fun’ | Be enthusiastic, connect personally |
| Green (Thinker) | Analytical, reserved, structured | ‘Data,’ ‘Process,’ ‘Details’ | Be prepared, give space |
| Blue (Relator) | Empathetic, calm, harmony-focused | ‘Trust,’ ‘Support,’ ‘Together’ | Be sincere, build rapport |
Example Scenario: negotiating with a dominant Red (Doer) /Yellow (Socialiser) personality
This combination of personality style is assertive, outspoken, impatient, and likes to win. So, do be direct and confident. Show how the proposal benefits them. Stay enthusiastic but controlled, and certainly don’t waffle, over-explain, or show uncertainty.
Avoid getting flustered by their intensity, and remember your Personal Intervention. if they interrupt or challenge you, pause and internally ask: ‘What response will serve the long-term outcome here?’ Then, re-engage calmly, restating your point with clarity.
Putting it all together
Great negotiators don’t just wing it – they prepare, observe, and adapt. By tapping into the power of personality diversity, you can quickly identify key personality tendencies and adapt your approach accordingly. And, by employing strategies such as Personal Intervention, you can overcome your own reactive habits and stay intentional in every moment. Here are a few tips:
- Know yourself: Self-awareness is the foundation of adaptability.
- Look for cues: Speech patterns, body language, and decision-making styles often reveal a person’s dominant personality style.
- Adapt but stay authentic: Flex your style without pretending to be someone you’re not.
- Practice Personal Intervention: The more you pause, the more control you gain over the outcome.
About the author
Paul Grant is a serial entrepreneur, a leading expert on
personality diversity and co-author of Personalities Remixed.
